Mom: Hey Q, do you mind passing the yams?
QLN: Are you completely helpless?? Come over here and get them yourself!
Sis: Does anyone know if there are giblets in the gravy?
QLN: RTFI! (Read The Freaking Ingredients)
Aunt Judy: Fantastic cranberry bread, Liz! How'd you make it?
QLN: For *@#% sake, AJ, can't you read a freakin' recipe? If you're not smart enough to read a simple recipe, you don't belong at this family gathering.
QLN#2: "man cranberry-bread-recipe". RTFR.
Bro: Man, what's with the pole-up-the-butt attitude with you guys? Dad, can I be excused?
Dad: Yes, son, y...
QLN: CAN'T YOU READ?? Any idiot knows that if you sift through the pile of normally-hidden headers in your invitation, you can eventually figure out that if you write thanksgiving-dinner-unsubscribe on your napkin, you can leave!
Bro: Isn't that something you're more likely to know because you STAYED on the list?
QLN: %&*($(#@&!!! <--storms off.
Sis: Anyway. Bro, there's this guy I like, and I could use some "guy" advice.
Bro: Sure, wh...
QLN2: What's his name?
Sis: Well, I really don't want to...
QLN2: WHAT'S HIS NAME?
Sis: See, you might know him, and I really...
QLN2: If you don't tell us his REAL name, how can we possibly offer you any advice???
Bro: Umm, why do you need to know his real name in order to offer advice about guys?
QLN2:
Dad: Hey, where's the mashed potatoes?
QLN2: [Passes the Stove Top stuffing]
Dad: This is stuffing; I want the potatoes [read, ETRN].
QLN2: http://www.qmail4thanksgiving.org/stuffing/
Dad: I asked for potatoes. I want potatoes. Stuffing is not potatoes.
QLN2: http://www.qmail4thanksgiving.org/stuffing/. Stove Top stuffing is better than potatoes.
Dad: I know we used to have mashed potatoes every Thanksgiving at qmail4thanksgiving.org! I wonder what happened.
QLN2: I dunno. I don't ever...
Sis: Oh, here...I found it at Way Back Machine (http://web.archive.org/). Nevermind!
Bro: Oops!
QLN2: $(*&%$()*&#)$*&)(#$)(*&!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in charge around here!!! Nobody eats potatoes when I say you eat stuffing!!
Dad: Umm, Q... What I'd like to know is, you're so busy policing Thanksgiving dinner, how do you ever get any eating [read, work] done?
QLN2: [typing under table] killall -KILL my_family [ENTER]
"This group is dedicated to being an archive for the worst and most human posts on the qmail (http://www.qmail.org) mailing list (personal attacks, slams, flames, insinuations, etc.). The posts archived here are generally of limited technical value but of high entertainment value..."
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